Hum Revisited

After all the sound and fury over that non-order of cockles by the PM (read Mee Siam Mai Hum, 24 August 2006), it's time to contemplate what we can dish up if he had said "ai hum" instead.

The affirmative could have given him a lip-smacking plate of Char Kway Teow, that artery-clogging noodle dish that many Singaporeans crave, especially when they miss home.

In the days when hepatitis and cholesterol were the concerns of doctors only, and hawkers stayed true to their itinerant calling, Char Kway Teow came with almost-raw cockles, lard croutons and scrambled egg.

Then, as now, you could choose to "mai" (not want) or "ai" (want) hum (cockles), hiam (chili) or neng (egg).

Then, unlike now, the cockles were no big deal. If any fuss was made, it was only to instruct the hawker to cook them ever so lightly.

It was the egg that made the difference.

Mothers would send their children to the Kway Teow man with an egg in hand. A big brown one to replace what was considered the inferior small white-shelled variety favoured by the hawker.

The Char Kway Teow would also be cheaper if the egg came from home.

Nowadays, anyone with the temerity to do such a thing would be thrown out of the queue before stepping within sniffing distance of the hawker's wok.

But you don't have to go to a hawker centre to satisfy your craving. DIY kway teow can be just as good.

First, prepare the cockles. Scrub them and soak them in water for a minute or two to entice them to open and let out some dirt.

All the fresh, edible ones will open easily when you pull the shells apart. Discard those that don't. Wash each opened cockle individually under a running tap to get rid of any dirt clinging to the flesh. Use a teaspoon to separate the meat from the shell.

Two dollars will get you enough cockles to cook a big batch of kway teow.

Now you are ready to start frying. This is how Nephew Number Two did it.

First, heat some oil in a wok, add beaten egg to make an omelette of sorts. Push this to one side of the wok. Add more oil, then some minced garlic and fry till fragrant but not brown. Add kway teow and yellow noodles to the pan, season with sweet sauce (kicap manis), black soya sauce, and chili sauce if you "ai hiam".

Next add lots of bean sprouts for that healthy touch.


Give the whole thing a thorough stir. Sprinkle some water if the noodles are a bit dry. Adjust the seasoning. Then it's time to add the cockles - and the blood, for more flavour. It's a bit yucky but you won't regret it.

Give the noodles a quick stir and turn off the stove quickly. Do not over-cook the cockles because you want them almost raw for the best texture and taste.


Scoop the noodles into a bowl. Garnish with spring onions and sliced chili. Eat it while it's hot.

Think of what you would have missed if you had said "mai hum".